One can get triggered easily even when people ask a simple question, especially if you are in a defensive mode. The funny thing is you often do not know you are triggered in the moment unless you stop and ask why you are so riled up. It is more common than you think among the couples I serve. After a certain amount of being disrespected (maybe not in the moment, but a lot happens in families), your threshold drops. You get snappy and sound meaner than you want to be, even when it is just a simple probe. Muscles tighten, you get wired. It becomes a vicious cycle.
We want to move toward a restorative mindset: build a cozy ambience, and some solace and safety for you and yours, generating endless affection in the spaces you live. Gain insight. Be a leader in the relationship. Start by pausing. Be reasonable, and take responsibility for how you are snapping back, care for yourself and how you respond next. It builds positive vibe. It just puts the next move in your hands. I say, start with compassion to build a kind home. To others and to yourself. Do not push the buttons till it snaps. Self-awareness is the key.
Why not pick one of two packages to regain emotional stability and manage the thermostat.
Solitude Package:
Reflect, breathe, sit in peace, exercise, do small house tasks like laundry, folding clothes, paint, read, or listen to calm music or whatever makes you happy by being alone, seeking zen mode, lowering stimulation.
Support Package:
Seek friends to receive warmth and joy, vent a little, problem solve. watch TV, go to a movie, cook together, laugh, shop for groceries or whatever gets you going with social connectivity.
That’s all!
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