The most important message I give to parents is there is no magic bullet. But a careful reflection and organized approach to chipping away at shaping the child’s persona and melting away the problem over time- is the answer. I think the worst kind of burden to parents is (a) Somehow they think they ought to do more, (b) Not knowing the right solution, and (c) The intolerability of the reactivity itself. Often it is so hard to do anything when your kid is screaming. For today, I like to give you three tips to hang on towards sanity.
- Check your tone of voice. Speak calmly or let go if you are fired up too or child is too upset. Mean tone hurts. Let’s work on being a good model. Being firm and offering instructive explanation is totally fine. But only AFTER validating the feelings of the child. Don’t be dismissive.
- Revisit. Explain when the mood is good to show them how things can be different moving forward. Take advantage of ‘love fest’ time where you are not in the heat of the moment. This way, you add value to teachings. Add the pebbles of wisdom that slowly influence your child.
- Switch off. Save your sanity and be determined to have good time, yourself, inbetween. Do not waste your valuable time, knowing you are doing the right thing.
Go through this checklist for yourself, each time! All will be well.