# Motivation # Success # Just Do It # Inherent Rewards # Real Life # Digital
Stuck? Stuck to get my son to soccer and so on..is not that uncommon. Parents are jammed as much as the tween or teen. Often there appears to be no apparent reason for quitting or resistance. A feeling of complacence sets in with broken record of Mom pleading which escalates to yelling in desperation. This complex knot needs to be un-knotted. In reality, it is easier to approach with long term plan than adhoc problem solving.
Positive Framework: I would begin as a parent with easy access to their psyche via peppered conversations related to their strengths and implications of such successes, ahead of time. This creates a framework for work ethic, identifying with success that they are already experiencing.
Melting the Barriers: To continue with the above example, say there is a game they need to attend, the problem often is the tween or teen thinking why bother- I am OK now- do not need extra excitement- it is lot of work- too much energy needed- much like how we adults may skip exercising and take an easier option (cop-out!). So get them to open up and put a finger on the vicious cycle. Talk at some point about what comes in the way as noted here and the things they lose by not participating. You must look in the eye and ask them to be fair and genuine (Obviously when in good mood, build those true moments into your days of connecting). They will tell you what would be gains such as fun, friends, skill building and so on, and also the downside of guilt of facing team mates later on after skipping a few sessions. Tell them that guilt is actually good, a great motivator to rectify the problem. I believe that, as much as possible, real life based skill acquisition must recognize inherent gains or rewards of the experience itself than incorporating external rewards.
Just Do It: Why did the Nike come up with the adage “Just do it?” Absolutely for this reason of motivating the masses to move from stagnancy or fear and, at times, towards new beginnings. There is no shortcut to action. Just get up and do it! No overthinking. It is binary. GO or NOT GO. If you are asked to advice a friend and are presented with scenario of GO vs. NOT GO, what will you tell them to choose? It is easy to make a decision for some one. Why not doing the same for yourself? This is decision making, using both your Dorso lateral Prefrontal Cortex and the Orbito frontal cortex!
Facilitators: In addition to my favorite sticky notes for each day’s tasks, your teen can set up shared electronic calendar, book mark it, add alarm to the electronic calendar or clock alarm in the smart phone to remind you, or even a common assignment note book. Such organization ahead of time will ease with transitions.
Success breeds success: Lets add the pebbles of success into your success jar! With each success of getting up and doing things, there is accrued good feeling, and more pebbles are added to the jar. Oh oh, don’t forget your own exercise too! Just do it.